I should practice what I preach (aka the brown ponytail freakout)

As my post from yesterday indicated, I was feeling very positive and happy over the weekend and being thankful for all I have.

Then came a new work week and good ol' reality reared its ugly head. The more I enjoy things the more I worry that it's all going to ripped out from underneath me. Things are bleak on the business front. We are waiting on a letter from a potential new client that could save our asses. If it doesn't happen, there's a good chance we won't survive this.

One of the reasons we chose to live in America instead of Scotland was because of my job (well and the weather!) so I'm the breadwinner in the family. The 20 grand pay cut I just got really hurts but we can survive. If I have no job, that's a different story.

I think it's the uncertainty that's killing me. I'm sure the rest of the world is feeling this too but I wish something, ANYTHING would happen to get us moving in the right direction again. This flu pandemic is not going to help matters at all.

I almost felt bad about today's post because you all were so sweet in your comments yesterday and happy that I was feeling so happy. I need to practice what I preach and I'm embarassed to say that this freak out all started over my hair. My usual cute blonde bob has become a boring light brown ponytail. I just can't justify spending $200 on it right now with all this uncertainty. I even told my hairdresser of 14 years that I coudn't afford it right now thinking he may give me a break on the price. No, he's an asshole. Just like my husband says!

I need to work on a plan. I thought about going to church or that meditation class I've been wanting to go to. Maybe I just need to sit down with a pen and paper and write down all my options and crazy career ideas I've had in the past. I can usually pick up some freelance work when I need some extra cash but I haven't been able to find any. I should probably put some more effort into that. I have a 1,000 page Dreamweaver book I've been working my way through hoping I can make my own portfolio site. I suppose that counts as effort!

Wow, blogging really helps me get some stuff out! Who needs therapy!! :)

What do you all do to calm the voices in your head and stay optimistic through tough times?