Do unto others

I'm super busy today but just had to share a good story from this morning.

I had to drop off a big donation for the Food Bank for work so I left my house early but was still in a hurry to get to the office. I felt great about doing a good deed and was driving (fast) on the nice, curvy, back roads I take to work. Not one but TWO people flashed their lights at me to let me know there was a cop hiding in the bushes ahead. Can you imagine getting a speeding ticket because you were in a hurry to get to work after making a donation to the food bank!?!?! Dodged a bullet there. Thank you nice people of Sandy Springs. I now know that you are more than just tennis skirt wearing b*tches :)

I was vacuuming at 6:00 this morning so I'm ready for my guests! I wish I could have y'all over for the amazing fruit salad I made.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day weekend!!

*helpful hint....combine yoga moves with home pedicure. It's a time saver! :)

Baggy pants

Why is it that sometimes the scale won't move much but suddenly it's time for new pants? I should say "trousers" so my British friends don't snicker ;) I might even have to venture in to the two bins of skinny clothes I have and see what's in there! Yesterday's pants could barely zip at the beginning of the summer and when I put them on, I thought they were ripped or something because they would barely stay on. The scale is a constant source of confusion but screw it, I'm feeling pretty good about going down a size or two. Anyone else experience this?

I'm running around like crazy today and tonight working and getting ready for my Scottish family to arrive tomorrow. I'm trying to put together some meals that don't break the money and calorie bank. I'm running out of time! :) Hope everyone is having a great week!

Better!

Thank you all for your sweet responses to my post yesterday. I was really down but I'm feeling a lot better today. I was even rocking out to Peter Murphy (my most favorite singer of all times) on the way to work. Yes, I'm almost 40 and still listen to the same music as I did when I was a teenager. I think it keeps me young :)

I sent out another resume yesterday and that's really all I can do right now. The fact that I was 1 of 6 interviewed out of 350 applicants for this last job proves to me that my resume and portfolio are in good shape.

I wish I could write more today but the work ain't gonna do itself. Have a great day everyone and thanks for cheering me up!!

Monday Mix Tape

I lost another pound on Wednesday weigh in which I forgot to report!

I have had a constant stream of house guests since Friday and drank a bit too much. We have Scottish family coming Friday-Monday which gives me just enough time to re-clean the house and give my liver a break!

My doctor broke up with me today. In a letter. This was due to the physical I had a while back and found out after that fact our admin had changed our insurance and it wasn't covered. Now I owe them $500 and they won't see me again until it's paid off. I was hoping they could at least discount it a little or let me pay them $100 a month for a while. Nope. Not even after 14 years of going there. Thanks a lot people!

I'm making $2000 less a month right now and this snowball is rolling down the hill and getting big. It's so hard to think about working out and eating well when I'm tears every day over it. Every month is a juggling act with the bills and it takes everything out of me. I'm trying to use the frustration from it all to "fuel my fire" but when I'm depressed I get lazy.

I'm just going to keep plugging along like I always do and keep the faith that there's something better on the horizon. Luckily, I have an amazing husband and the best dogs in the world to go home to tonight.

Sorry to be a downer but I'm keeping an honest track of how I'm feeling whether it's good or bad. Now I'm off to catch up on some more cheerful blogs :)

Inspiration

You know, I thought I was lazy until I hear this exchange yesterday between my boss and my co-worker.
CW: They have just opened our favorite restaurant in the DFW airport. We can eat lunch there on our trip tomorrow.
BOSS: I'm not walking anywhere.
He is a heart attack waiting to happen. Drinks regular Coke, eats candy and chips all day and then only dinner as a meal. Probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 350 pounds. Nothing anyone could ever say will change his habits either. I feel a bit better about myself :)

Speaking of feeling better, I'm inspired. I know I'm late to the Sean party, but if you haven't read his blog yet DO IT. You will laugh, you will cry and then you will feel like this whole weight loss thing "ain't rocket surgery" as I like to say. I'm going back to basics. Calorie counting, moving, and figuring out exactly what I need to do in my head to make me not gain it all back this time. That's only 3 things. I can do that and I can afford it :)

Now, I'm off to catch up on some blogs, get some work done (which hasn't happened since I've been reading Seans blog from day one) and figure out a daily calorie count on FitDay or Sparkpeople. Hope y'all are having a great week!

bummer

Yesterday I stayed home from work with the remains of some seriously annoying lower back pain and It's a good thing I did because a rejection email came yesterday from the job I've been waiting to hear about. I am seriously bummed.

I know why I didn't get the job. It's not something that's easy for me to talk about but it's time to admit it. I can have the best portfolio and personality out there but it's not going to change the fact that I'm a short, fat girl applying for an executive level job in the fashion industry. I should have know during the interview when I asked about the culture and was given the speech about the Divas and the designer clothes. The recruiter talked about it as if she was surprised herself since it was kids clothing but nonetheless, I saw those types wandering the halls and maybe even a snicker or two in my direction that I refused to believe at the time.

I was saying to my husband that unfortunately, people face the issue of prejudice every day. For most, it's something they cannot change like the color of their skin or their sexual orientation or a disability. Mine is something I CAN change and I'm ashamed of myself for doing it once and letting myself go again. I accomplished so much more in my size 10 jeans than in my 22's.

If anything, this has served as a big fat slap in the big fat arse. I had a little hissy-fit in my closet this morning and threw my nicely hung up waiting for second interview giant-sized black pants on the floor way behind the skinny clothes bins. Then I packed my gym bag for the first time in 2 weeks. It's the only plan 'b' I can think of.

you guys rule

Thank you SO much for all of the responses! I seriously had no idea so many people read what I write. I see some new names in the comments and I will be by to visit your blogs when I have a minute!

Great ideas and I think I took a bit from every one of them! She is coming over tomorrow night for drinks and here is what I'm going to say:

"Listen, I've been thinking a lot about your upcoming birthday and I feel like if you want to have a party, your husband should put something together at your house because he (hopefully) knows all of your friends and family that you would want to be there. I'd be happy to bring the cake and make a jug of margaritas. I don't think I can do it at my house because it's a Friday night and I don't even know where I will be working then. If not then lets get some girls together and go out to the bar/pedicure place or dinner somewhere fun."

I think that is being honest but not at all mean while keeping in mind that it is my friends special day and I do want to do SOME nice things. Just not all of it! I did manage to come up with this little idea for her card and possibly the cake...

My friend is a Hello Kitty fanatic and a nurse so I added the little hat. I've been working on some "crows feet" but it's not turning out so it may have to stay like this! I think she'll get it :)

I wish I had more to report. I bought second interview shoes so lets hope I have to wear them!

WWBD?

Okay y'all I need some advice from my blog friends. Completely off topic.

My other best friend is about to turn 40. She has a 2 year old and the most horrible husband on earth (which I won't go into because that's another rage filled post)

I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that he will plan nothing, do nothing, or even care that she's celebrating a big birthday. The thing that really sucks? It's his birthday too.

I'm always the one who does all the parties because that's just the way I am. Always thinking about others. Right now, the thought of spending all that money and time (keep in mind I'm a perfectionist) is painful. I feel like I would be a bad friend if I just planned a dinner out because she said she really wanted a party. I would have to have it at my house and pretend like it was for him too even though he treats me worse than dirt.

My question to you is should I:
1. Stop feeling responsible and hope he plans SOMETHING?
2. Just suck it up and throw the damn party for a dear friend I've known for 20 years.

Okay enough of that. Still waiting waiting and waiting some more over here. There is no direction to my life at all right now but I'm surviving.

Thanks for the 2 blog awards I got yesterday from Tammy and 266 . I really appreciate it and promise to pass it on when I have a moment to think. Right now, stupid work needs to be done.

Have a great day everyone and thanks in advance for your advice!

Setting new goals

waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting

It's going to be a long week folks. Hoping to hear something early in the week so I can either move on or take another giant leap in the interview process.

I could not sit still this weekend. I took out my frustrations on this:

We are scraping one side of our house and planning on painting the entire thing ourselves due to budget issues. I'm calling it the "summer of love" to make it sound fun. I have noticed that my triceps, biceps, shoulders and back have gotten a lot more defined since starting this project. I would say we have another few weekends of scraping. If my financial situation happens to change in the next few weeks as I'm hoping, you can bet an entire crew will be called in to do the painting and we can do something else instead of risking our lives on ladders :)


Because everything is so up in the air right now, I've found myself with no goals. My goal to lose 100 pounds by my 40th birthday is unattainable unless I went on the Biggest Loser so it's time to reevaluate. Anything long term is TBD right now since it could all change with a phone call so I'm going to focus on the short term and work out every day whether it's at home or at the gym. I have meals planned for the week and lots of prep work done so I just need to remain calm and focus on my small goal. That is seriously all my packed-full brain can handle at the moment. I might even take a class so that someone can tell me what to do and I don't have to think!

Thanks for all the well wishes. I will keep y'all posted. Have a great week!!

The waiting is the hardest part

I have been terrible about blogging the past week or so and it's probably because I've been eating terribly and not exercising. I haven't been shoving food in my face or anything but more like only eating once a day and not being prepared etc. The only time I've been to the gym is to change clothes after my interview :)

I can't focus to save my life. I know I'm not supposed to hear about any next steps on the interview until next week but it's all I can think about. Part of me feels so good about it and if I were truly practicing 'the Secret' I would be packing up my office. The other part of me has fat girl worries that I just don't fit in with all the Divas and the tall, hot, skinny girls wandering the halls. I'm hoping my talent and my personality will prevail. Don't get me wrong, I looked GREAT for the interview (if I do say so myself!) but this is a very different industry and I have no idea if that will be a factor.

No matter what happens, I don't want to feel this way about myself anymore. It's almost been a year since I started blogging. My profile says I'm trying to lose 100 pounds before my 40th birthday. That is now only 3 months away. If I get this job, it will change my life and give me the time and the location to exercise every day. If I don't, I'm going to have to try that much harder.

Okay, now I feel better after getting all that out. I'm saying my prayers daily, not just that I get the job, but that whatever is meant to be for me is what happens. If it's not too hot to breathe, I'm going to take a nice long, head clearing walk after work and try to slap myself back to reality.