Day 3 of 17

Hi Y'all. I just hit my 16th year of living in Atlanta so I say that all the time now :)

Despite the hideous double mortgage payment incident, I haven't missed a beat and I'm truly proud of that. I so wanted to drown my sorrows in white bread and mac and cheese.

I started the 17 day diet Monday as planned and so far so good. The book is truly terrible. It talks about things like "becoming a hottie" and the food lists and recipes leave a lot to be desired. It's very basic - lean proteins, veggies, fruit and 2 servings of anything probiotic. That's the first 17 days. After that you slowly add whole grains back in. Maybe it's because I've done every diet known to man that it seems basic...that and I hate diets. I'm doing this because I had to do something.

I thought I'd be laying twitching in padded locked room like a heroin addict but it hasn't been that bad. After a dinner of protein and veggies I REALLY need a little something sweet so I've been having a sugar free jello pudding for 60 cals. Not on the plan but I don't see how it could really have that much of an effect on my progress.

Because there wasn't a ton of money to buy food this month, I roasted a 7 lb. chicken (more than I weighed as an infant!) on the grill and have therefore had very chicken-y week thus far. Chicken and vegetable soup has been great along with a spinach salad for lunch. Breakfast has been the same as always thankfully. Yogurt and berries - just omitted my usual handful of Kashi Go Lean Crunch. Dinner is some sort of protein on the grill (or more chicken) and veggies. I even did some mashed cauliflower which was a great starch substitute. There's not much more to it than that!

Today will be my first "challenge" which is lunch AND dinner out. The plan is to decide what I'm having ahead of time and sticking to it. It's really not that big of a deal I suppose...I just tend to make it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

A mid-week check in has me 4 lbs. down (hooray!) but I will report officially on Monday which will be 7 days from my start. I was up a full 11 pounds from my arm injury and I'm not wearing my new white pants again until that's gone!

On the fitness front, because I have a seriously awesome (and understanding) trainer, I've changed my personal training session over to one of her group sessions at least for the month. That way, I can still afford to have her - just not one-on-one (which I already miss!!). My schedule is pretty much the same as well Monday,Wednesday,Saturday is my group training which is a mix of pilates and weights, Tuesdays is my long standing bikram yoga class, Thursdays I run a 5k (on the treadmill for the summer) and Sundays have been my only off day. I'm planning on walking to my class on Saturday which is about 2 miles with a mega giant hill in both directions but since I have extra time on the weekends, I might as well make good use of it.

So it looks like I will make it over yet another huge hurdle in my life. I guess that's a huge part of this journey!!

Stronger but still weak

I did the single dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

I accidentally paid my mortgage twice.

Just so you know, if you ever do that, they don’t give it back.

As I watched my bank account go $2,000 in the negative, I have been eating like a crazy person and haven’t stopped. I feel awful. Bloated, weak, tired, nauseous…basically poisoned.

WTF is wrong with me that I turn to something that can make me feel so bad??? I guess that’s what heroin and meth addicts ask themselves as they continue to destroy themselves.

Day before yesterday, I was at my worst. I cried all day over losing our entire life savings over a stupid mistake. It’s been almost 2 years since I lost my job and that’s how long it’s taken to actually save up a couple grand again. I considered giving up my plan to start the 17 day diet (on Monday naturally!) and live on mac and cheese and white bread.

Then I came to my senses.

It doesn’t cost any more money to live on lean protein, veggies, fruit and yogurt which is what this plan is all about…at least for first few weeks.

So that’s that. I’m getting my sh*t together while I somehow work harder to make up for this devastating event.

I’ll be back on Monday for the day one update.

Let's talk about food

Despite by busy schedule, you'll all be happy to know I have been working out like a crazy person. Every muscle hurts just about every day. It feels great and things are firm enough to wear white pants again but I have been ignoring the diet portion of this journey in a bad way.

I spend my precious down-time with my husband and friends – "rewarding" ourselves with food and drink. We haven't been going crazy on the junk, just richer food, eating out, larger portions, more alcohol etc. It's amazing how that behavior can creep back into your lifestyle slowly, without even noticing.

I work too hard to not be dropping weight so I'm thinking of starting the 17-day diet. I hate to even mention "diet" on this blog because I don't believe it them but I do believe in calorie shifting (lower one day, higher the next) to keep the metabolism guessing. This would just be a way for me to follow that a little more easily. I'm reading the book. I will let y'all know what I think. If anyone has any advice, I'm willing to hear it!

Have a great, healthy week everyone!

looking out for number one

I'm so ridiculously busy but had to take just a minute to blog about another one of my many breakthroughs. Are you tired of them yet??? I guess since I dedicated this year to self discovery, it's not a bad thing :)

Anyway, the week got off to a great start. Exercise every day, really good eating etc. but that started to fade a little this morning as the work piled up. I emailed my trainer that I wasn't coming to class because I was on a ridiculous deadline and sat down at my desk to work. My yoga instructors website was on the screen and the second I saw her picture, I knew I had to go to class. I grabbed my shoes and ran out the door. Class was hard, I was dripping with sweat and it was already 90 degrees at 8:30 am but I felt SO great after.

I've been blessed with these two amazing, beautiful women in my life Karen, my trainer and Astrid, my yoga instructor. They are so encouraging and I WILL not let them down!

falling on the double edge sword

Thanks for all the well wishes on the injury front!

I decided I would compromise and work out every other day this week which didn't start out to be such a great idea! After Monday's training session I was in so much pain I had to go to bed early even though she took great care in modifying things for my right arm. I was worried but woke up Tuesday feeling better than I had in weeks! I didn't go to yoga Tuesday but was back at my trainers core class early this morning - again feeling good! Even the cut is healing up quickly.

My husband called this afternoon to ask how I was and I said "I'm great! I'm busy but inspired." That's when it really hit me just how much I need my exercise routine for way more than weight management. It affects everything I do, every day. Energy, creativity, memory, focus, stress level - you name it...yet sometimes it's the hardest thing in the world to do. Especially when there's pain involved.

I guess sometimes we really do need to stop and take a step back to get a new perspective. Somehow things become easier for me on this journey when it becomes less about the weight loss and more about my well being. Now that's something to ponder! :)

always a battle

Do you ever just get tired of fighting with yourself? I never fight with anyone. Only myself. Only about food and exercise.

The debate rages on in my head this morning as I'm sporting yet another injury of the right side variety. I sliced open my thumb and ended up going to urgent care for stitches on Saturday. Of course I waited too long so I could only get glued and taped but at least it's put back together and I'm not going to get tetanus.

The cut took my mind of the tendonitis for a few days but now it ALL hurts which severely impacts my big plans for workouts this week. I'm fine except from the right elbow down so I KNOW I can do most of what I have planned but the pain makes me want to sit on the couch and eat and feel sorry for myself. I want it to go away and I feel like if I keep pushing myself it's never going to get any better. Last time I tried to stop and heal I gained 9lbs.

I'm really trying not to be so cranky about it but that's what happens when I'm frustrated. Injuries, constant power outages from storms every other day, having to listen to everyone talk about vacations.... I'm hoping if I at least try to work out this week, I may loose the crappy attitude :)

Diving back in

Ever since my hero (and friend) Shelley started swimming I've been DESPERATE to get back in the pool. That and it went from spring straight to 100 degrees here in the ATL. I may have mentioned, I had to quit the Y because I was paying way too much for a pool and gym that was dirty and gross. It literally turned my stomach in the early mornings.

Luckily I was talking to a friend of mine who mentioned the women's college just up the street has water aerobics for only $5!!! Women's college means only women in the pool. No offense men but to me that's a huge bonus! :)

The class is Monday and Friday at 7am which means I still have to train on Monday and go to Yoga on Friday but the double workouts seem to be the only thing that really makes the pounds come off. That's 6 classes a week folks. I'll be broke AND tired! I can say for sure that going to all these classes has made me much less nervous about going to new classes.

INJURY UPDATE:
Arm WAS doing great until the mass amounts of ibuprofen made me barf for 24 hours. I'm still a little shaky from it and haven't had any since but I did lose 5 of the 9 pounds I gained because of it. Not really the way I wanted to lose it but whatever....I'm going back to (almost) full strength workouts Monday no matter what. I can probably do everything but one pose in yoga and push-ups/dips. Sorry Karen :)

Have an awesome weekend everyone. I'm headed to moms the mountains where it's 10 degrees cooler!

Monday mix tape - good news and bad news edition

I can't believe it's been a week since I last posted. What was worse is that I looked back on the positivity in that last post and realized I need to get back up there again!

The bad news:

The arm injury finally got the best of me and I went to the doctor on Friday. I have a classic case of tendonitis and am not allowed to lift weights until it's 100% better. Other than that I can do just about anything but the constant pain doesn't help with motivation for exercise. I've taken good care of it over the last few days and hope it goes away soon. What's the rush you ask? I've gained 9 freaking pounds.

The good news:

I did a 3 minute plank. I swear I thought my trainer was crazy when she said that was something people did.
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The guy at the Goodwill donation truck told me I was looking great. He's seen me shrink the last few months as I keep handing him more and more clothes that no longer fit. I found that laugh out loud to myself funny.
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I just ordered peanut butter online for the first time which I find very strange but oh well! I tried a Justin's Nut Butter Honey Peanut Butter 80 calorie pack at Starbucks and it was amazing. I just ordered 40 packs. Finally a way to eat peanut butter and banana (or apple!) at my desk. It's seriously delicious.
At least there are more good things on the list than bad but the bad was a serious blow.

The plan for the week is to focus on cardio and cut down on the carbs. I hope to get this 9 lbs off as quick as it came on. I have to have to have to keep going!

Monday mix tape

I'm back! My arm is feeling much better and my trainer is back from vacation just in time. I just had a great, sweaty workout despite taking it easy on my arm. I could have been working around it all along but the rest felt needed and it made me all that more excited to get back. Needless to say, I'm going to avoid the scale for another week and just focus on getting back to full strength. Funny what a lot of stress and a lot of pain can do to ones virtuous eating habits.

I was trying to explain to my trainer how I felt while she was gone and I was injured. It was difficult to put into words. I felt like a slug. Slow, weak, tired, barely wanting to move. The fact that its in the high 90s here isn't helping but I know what the real culprit was. We ate out a lot during that time and it was that oh so delicious combo of sugar, salt, fat and processed carbs. Delicious and poisonous.

So, in a week of not much progress on the physical front, there was a ton of progress made on the mental front. Never in my life have I enjoyed my workouts enough to miss them. I've also never been this in tune with my body and paying attention to what makes me feel good (and not good!) These are the makings of a lifestyle change and not the on again, off again roller coaster ride I've been on as long as I can remember.

Hey, Hot Wing Lady part deux

It's been another non-stop week here but I'm hanging in there and enjoying my work even though there are not enough hours in the day to do it all!! I'm grateful for the abundance of work as well as the energy and God given talent to make it all look nice :)

Something happened last night I had to share. Almost three years ago I wrote this post about my relationship with chicken wings and the lady that makes them at the local supermarket.

Things have changes so much grocery shopping wise. I rarely venture into the middle aisles anymore except for dog supplies, toilet paper and salt and vinegar PopChips. I wouldn't recognize my cart if I lost it so I keep it close by. I used to be embarrassed by it especially if a weekend was coming up. I have been asked if I was having a party and I wasn't. God that's horrifying.

Anyway, I was in the seafood department and the chicken wing maker was behind the counter and came running out after me, hugged me and said "I saw you and your husband the other day and I hardly recognized you both. You look so great no wonder I haven't seen you in a while!"

I SO needed that encounter.

I was stressed and feeling snacky. I haven't been working out all week due to an arm injury that happened sometime over the weekend. I must have pulled a muscle because I haven't even been able to make a fist or lift my coffee. It's feeling better but now I'm dreading getting back to it. Just goes to show myself I can't ever stop. If I were like Shelley, I wouldn't let the injury get in my way but I did and now I'm going to pay for it!! :)