so this is what they call living...

These are the times I wish I could bottle up all the motivation, pride and sheer joy to save for a crappy day or sell it and make a bazillion dollars so I don't have to work on a holiday. I can already hear the infomercial in my head!

In the past, by the end of a holiday weekend, I was tired and bloated and bitchy about having to "start my diet again tomorrow". This time I enjoyed my holiday weekend in a completely different way as if I was in the body of a different person. I loved every minute of it.

It all kicked off with proper planning. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that as soon as I could smell all the grills in the neighborhood, I would be craving all the foods that are synonymous with an American summer holiday. I was totally prepared and it worked.

Friday night I made a gorgeous 4oz grass fed beef burger on a small whole wheat bun with sweet potato fries and coleslaw with very little mayo. It was perfect if I do say so myself.

Saturday morning I went to Body Pump and was so excited to be back after a week of not going to the gym due to the sickness. I did better than ever before increasing all my weight and managing all but 4 of the lunges. Maybe next time I'll be able to say I did them all. As if that weren't enough, we walked 5 miles round trip to book festival after I got home. I purposely took the route by the Chick-Fil-A so I could stop and have my 300 calorie grilled chicken sandwich to prepare for the onslaught of corn dogs and other fried delights at the festival. After that I had 2 beers which was more than enough to fuel me for the walk home :) I stopped and bought $40 worth of socks at the running store too. Body pump, 5 mile walk, running store. All in one day. Who would have thought.

Saturday night I made very healthy shrimp fajitas for us and the neighbors and ended up overdoing it a little on the guacamole but managed to stick with 2 margaritas. The planned amount! Fajitas are a great way to feel like you are pigging out on mexican food but you have to watch the tortillas. Trader joes has a new small tortilla with 45 calories and 7 grams of fiber. Two is more than enough. They are a Godsend.

Sunday I did just about everything but the work I needed to do but managed a good three mile walk and some serious house cleaning while procrastinating. For some reason I was extra hungry all day so I decided to read to try to keep my mind off of it but of course it's a book involving lots of incredible descriptions of food but I'll save that for another post. We repeated Friday's dinner because It was that good and we already had everything.

This morning, I ran farther outside than I have yet. We did our 3 mile route and I managed more than half of that running. It was REALLY fun and I didn't feel like I was going to die once. A woman driving by gave me a thumbs up. I could have kissed her. Since I've embraced the fat girl running, I don't mind people noticing me. I owe that to Al and his sense of humor about it all.

Tonight is grilled pizzas on pitas from the Farmers Market which was planned because we usually order a pizza at the end of a holiday weekend binge. Not this time suckers :)

My dream about running was not just a one time thing. It's been a recurring dream now and for some reason it's helping me. In my dream I'm running with no consequence. No breathing heavy pain or heavy legs, just the freeing feeling of moving down the road quickly. I have a strange feeling it has something to do with my dad giving me encouragement from above.

I know this is long and probably mostly boring but to sum it all up, I think I now know what it's like to feel alive and I'm not sure I ever did before. I'm seeing everything from a different point of view. My body is changing but my mind has had a total makeover. I saw things in the neighborhood I've never seen in 6 years of living. I WANTED to walk 5 miles on a gorgeous day with my husband instead of watching HGTV and wishing I had the energy to do something. You couldn't pry the smile off my face right now.

Holiday Friday Quickie

Just wanted to drop in to say...
1. I've officially entered the 220's - a new decade for moi!!!
2. I'm not sure who this person is I've become - the one that is planning healthy meals and lots of activity for the long weekend. I even had a dream about running!
3. I hope everyone has a fabulous holiday weekend!!

A new low

It feels so good to be feeling better. It's been a year and a half since I've been sick and I forgot how much it sucked!

The good part? I weighed in a day early and lost 6 pounds this week!! 230 today. 16 pounds in a month (and a day). I can't wait to see the 220's again.

Leave it to me to do this AFTER the challenge ended! I'm still so proud of my friend Crys for winning. She lost 15 pounds in a month while traveling. She's a freaking rock star.

I'm trying not to get too excited about the loss this week because I haven't been exercising and I know I've lost some muscle I've worked so hard to build up. I was going to wait until tomorrow to go back to the gym but I'm considering a lunch time swim today because I miss exercising. To me that attitude is even more important than the pounds lost.

Hope everyone is having a great week!! Long weekend ahead!!!

end of challenge weigh in

236 this morning which is no loss in the last 2 weeks but that's 10 total for the challenge. I'm pretty pleased with that! Also, my BMI is down 3%. I haven't seen that move in quite a while!

Right now I'm sick as a dog with a cold I caught at a kids birthday party and just came back from a trip to the doc with a chest x-ray and 3 kinds of meds. I'm not dying so that's good - even though it feels like it!

While I was there I was venting my frustrations about not being able to get below 235 and she decided to check my thyroid (again!) and this time check for insulin resistance. We'll see what happens with that! I've had thyroid symptoms since I was a teenager but it's always come back normal or borderline. I also know that there are different tests that can be done so I'm going to push for that if this latest round doesn't turn anything up.

I haven't had any exercise since Saturday and I strangely miss it. The doc told to wait until I can breathe again so hopefully by Thursday I'll be back at it because I've been making some good progress. I even managed to up my weights a bit in the Body Pump class and do all the squats. I know I will feel even more victorious when I can make it through the 4 minutes of lunges! oy....

I hope everyone is having a great week so far. I'm off for some more couch time while it lasts!! :)

week 4 challenge weigh in

I really didn't even want to post today but all the amazing comments I got on yesterdays post made me realize I have to keep going through good and bad. If it wasn't for this blog, I may have given it all up today.

I gained a freakin pound but as the oh so wise Mr. Sh*t told me, "know that what you're doing is better than what you're NOT doing (binging, slothing)". So I did exactly what he said. He's kinda like my male Oprah. I do whatever he tells me to do. I'm sure he'll be thrilled with that comparison ;)

Yesterday after my post I did go to the pool but not for an easy swim by any means. I rocked 40 laps in 45 minutes. At one point there was a "real" swimmer girl who kept looking at me and I almost said out loud "I'm not racing you so so stop looking at me you dumb $*%#!". I calmed myself down and remembered I was there to change my mood and not take it out on some girl who dared look at me. I swear I'm not a mean person but sometimes....grrrr. I felt awesome when I finished and too a long soak in the hot tub even though I had a ton of work to do.

My reaction this morning was downright stupid. My first thoughts were along the lines of "I can eat like crap and gain weight so I might as well" and so on. Later when my husband saw my tears and reminded me how much better I said I felt. My reply was "well what I really feel is tired, sore, sad and pissed of at my stupid sister who woke me up with a stupid drunk phone call after I'd gone to bed twice this week."

I ALMOST didn't go this morning. I still had tears in my eyes as I was staring at the moon getting in the car. But I went because I knew everyone was cheering me on. My husband and my blog friends are my biggest fans and I'm not letting them down. I did a pretty kick-ass half hour of c25k week 4 and then another half hour of incline intervals walking. I managed 3.25 miles in an hour which means my time is improving ever so slightly.

Speaking of my husband, he has lost 15 pounds now and I'm so proud of him. He will be in onederland by next week. I'm glad he's seeing progress because it's been a little hard for him to adjust to drinking very little beer and only having potatoes once a week :)

The point of all of this is to get my mind to the point where "going back" is out of the question. Where I don't want to eat like crap and sit on the couch. I'm getting there.

This is where it gets tough

Well it seems I've already hit my first plateau which happened to coincide with my 1940's plaster kitchen ceiling falling down. $1600 to replace. That's the family price! Ironically it's the same price as a trip to Scotland which I was planning for Christmas. Looks like now my husband will go without me (again) and I'll stay home and bask in my modern day drywall kitchen ceiling. You can probably hear my heavy sigh from wherever you are reading this :)

The scale has my mind all messed up this week. Even though the official weigh in for the challenge isn't until tomorrow, I've been checking all week and I've somehow gained. I'm eating like a saint and doing an hour and 30 minutes a day of cardio.

No worries though, I'm not giving up. I just need to recognize when I'm feeling weak and get it out there.

Yesterday could have been really bad. I had a meeting in a particular part of town that I used to love to go to because our beloved drive-in, the Varsity Jr. is right there. It's the perfect place to sit in the car and gorge on the greasiest of chili dogs and pimento cheeseburgers (oh and the fried peach pies). I never thought I'd say this but thanks to the City of Atlanta zoning department, they just closed over the weekend and I avoided at least a 2,000 calorie disaster. Luckily the main location is ridiculous crowded and difficult to get to so I think my biggest temptation in the ATL is now gone for good.

Even my workout yesterday felt crappy. I was sore and tired and my legs felt like I had ankle weights on. Then we went to a concert last night and now my entire body hurts from jumping around to some seriously good Ska music. My left hip has been sore during my runs but today they are both on fire so I'm finally going to go to a chiropractor about it. It's not unbearable but it would be nice if it wasn't there at all! I'm sure being a fat person running isn't helping.

I'm off to the pool in a few for a gentle swim in hopes of improving my mood and my aching bones. Trying to treat myself to things that make me feel good that don't involve food and/or shopping.

I'm hoping that I at least stay the same for tomorrows weigh-in instead of having to post a gain in the challenge. I will not let that piece 0' crap scale beat me. I HAVE TO keep going. I'm a half-marathon participant now and those people don't just give up :)

no turning back now!

I started week 4 of couch to 5k today after a full day off yesterday (aside from a 20 minute dog walk!). For some reason I was really nervous and doubting I could do it. Probably because this is the point where I stopped the last time. I did really well considering it was a full 16 minutes of running although I couldn't do my additional 30 minutes of incline interval walking. My legs just weren't having it and I'm sure tomorrow will be a little easier.

I'm (still) so motivated and full of energy which is a good thing

because....








as of this morning

I'm a registered participant of the Georgia Half Marathon.


I looked closely at the route for the first time this morning and at this point can't even really fathom the distance even though the course is through all familiar territory. I just have to put all fears aside and convince myself I will be able to do this by March. It's fun to have a huge goal but utterly terrifying at the same time.

I've been eating great as well and seeing big changes in my body, though not as much on the (damn) scale. I blame that on my weightlifting efforts at Body Pump but like I've said a million times before, I know it's necessary for my overall fitness. I'm hoping for at least a pound or 2 for my weigh in on Friday - the second to the last in the challenge! We're going out tomorrow night and I really need to compensate for that all week. If I'm careful, I can fit in a rosemary infused grapefruit margarita in a mason jar (my favorite drink on earth). Plus, grapefruit juice is healthy ;)

end of the week weigh in

Week three of the challenge yields an (almost) 2 lb. loss for the week. That's a total of 10 since the challenge began!

I've still been working out 6 days a week at 6am and eating really well and it's paying off. Some days I wish for bigger numbers but the way I'm living right now is maintainable over the long run and that's the key to keeping it off this time.

It's been a super busy week with extra hours at my part time job but I still managed 3-5 miles a day of intervals. That makes me very proud.

Tomorrow is another Body Pump class and then Sunday is the day my husband and I do at least 3 miles with the dogs both running and walking. He's lost 10 pounds too!

I'm really in the groove right now. Long may it continue!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Monday mix tape

I'm so proud to say I've completed another successful week and am fully prepared for this one that has just begun. I think the motivation I've been blessed with has been coming from being truly honest with myself and listening to my body. I'm feeling GREAT!

Friday night we went out with a friend to a bar that has amazing food of both the healthy and unhealthy varieties. I could have eaten everything but decided to start with munching on steamed edamame because I wasn't sure I had eaten enough vegetables that day. What a great way to fill up a little before ordering! After that, I was completely satisfied by one little chicken parmesean slider (about 3 bites worth) and a caprese salad with local tomatoes. Yes I had 2 beers but had planned on that ALL week! For a brief moment I wanted to stop at Dairy Queen but my husband reminded me we had 4o calorie fudge bars at home.

Saturday I was up and at my Body Pump class by 9:15. I did much better this week than last (which was my first time in 10 years) At least this week I didn't have to come home and take a nap! My soreness only lasted a day or 2 so I will probably up my weights just a tiny bit on the legs next week. My arms were burning just fine though! I have such a long way to go before I'm able to plow through it like I did 10 years ago but I'm really trying hard not to focus on that. Sometimes the realization of starting over hits me like a ton of bricks.

Saturday night we had shrimp and chicken fajitas that I made and brought them to the neighbors to pair with margaritas they had made. I had a few too many chips and and maybe an extra margarita but I felt it was a success for an "outing". Normally we would have gone out for mexican and it would NOT have been lovingly prepared with all healthy ingredients! Even the margaritas were nothing but fresh lime and tequila with no sugary mix.

Sunday morning my husband and I took the dogs out for a 3 miler. I wasn't planning on running but I (being honest with myself again) reminded myself that I was going to be doing a half marathon and that running outside at least some of the time is a necessary part of training. I decided to run on the downhills only but still managed about a mile! My husband usually runs ahead of me because I'm so slow but there's nothing like running toward his smiling face while he's cheering me on...even though I'm sure it's not the prettiest sight in the world. He says it's beautiful to see me running but all I can think about is all the jiggling that's going on - not that I would ever let that stop me. I'm hoping to look back fondly at these times when I'm crossing the finish line in March!

Shortly after that I got to meet Tammy at the farmers market and had a BLAST. She is so sweet and funny...one of those people I feel like I've known forever. I had a huge salad with a piece of homemade pita bread and only 1 bite of the pineapple croissants as we passed the bread sampling table. I loaded up with healthy fruit and veggies for the week and even with a pound of tilapia and rotisserie chicken, spent only $33. Fish is being made tonight with mango salsa, roasted brussels sprouts and their corn on the cob which is the best I've ever had. 2 ears of corn were 30 cents!

Sunday night was quiet and relaxing but I was still exhausted when I got up this morning. I could barely stay awake and was debating taking a day off after 6 in a row. My husband said I should listen to my body and do what I thought was best. My body was just saying I was sleepy but not sore really so I went. It wasn't the best workout and I felt like I was all over the place but I did the first day of week 3 of couch to 5k which is 9 minutes of running. I did 45 minutes total on the treadmill and then just threw in the towel. I hear the body pump instructor say it's better to do less than do more with bad form and that's what my problem was this morning. I just didn't have the energy to stand up tall and engage my core. I think some days are just going to be like that. Mondays especially.

That brings me to my question for y'all after this ridiculous long post about not a lot.

How do you handle "days off" from exercise?

I know from previous experience that I need to do 6 days a week but when I take a day off it seems to make me more tired. It's almost like if I don't have that exercise I just can't get going or I feel guilty about it. I know my body needs a break but I thought maybe something like yoga, a leisurely walk or a swim would be good for that seventh day. Or maybe I just take Mondays of altogether and quit obsessing about it. I would love to some thoughts on rest!

Here's to another great week ahead. I'm hoping the scale decides to reward me for some good behavior this week for the challenge now that Tom is almost gone :)

Not that I’m checking out your stats...

I realized yesterday during a horrible afternoon bout with cramps that it was that fun time of the month again but at least it explained my cravings, hunger, and general irritability. Instead of curling up in a fetal position on the sofa I figured a walk with the husband and dogs would make me feel better. It was 105 heat index AND garbage day but there were parts of it that were enjoyable. Like running the length of the park without stopping! I know it’s a hell of a long way from a half marathon but It’s a big start.

I got up at 5:30 this morning still in a relatively foul mood despite the fact that I had a dream I was making out with Cristiano Ronaldo (superstar soccer player for those who don’t know) in a convenience store. At the gym by 6:15 I did a half an hour of C25K intervals. About halfway through, “the incredible stinking woman”, as I’ve now named her, showed up and got on a treadmill 4 down from me. I smelled her before I saw her. Even from that distance. I had to chuckle as a guy got off the one next to her and moved but the whole thing just added to the foulness of my mood.

All along I had been glancing over at the guy next to me who had been running the entire time - at 7.5 miles an hour - burning more than 500 calories. I try not to look at what anyone else is doing because I’m only in competition with myself but that was impressive!! Just as we both slowed down to a walk at the end of the first 30 minutes he gave me a thumbs up so I took out one of my earbuds and he said “interval training is the best thing you can do.” I had a HUGE smile on my face as we both started up again for another 30 minutes. Of course he ran ANOTHER 30 minutes at 7.5 miles an hour and burned another 500+ calories but I did walking incline intervals with an extra spring in my step. Thanks dude. You probably have no idea how much you encouraged me today :)