Friday Weigh In

It's going to be a short post today because I've been working on a mega-project all week. Even though I've been so busy I still managed to get in every single workout.


Okay so now for the stats:
Jan 14 - Start of liquid diet - 250
Jan 29 - Surgery weight - 237 -13
Feb 8 - 231 -6
Feb 15 - 222 -9
Feb 22 - 220  -2
Mar 1 - 218  -2
Mar 8 - 216  -2
Mar 15 - 213 -3
Mar 22 - 209 -4
41 pounds total!   

I'm thrilled with my loss this week! Every day is like a new day lately and I couldn't be happier.

Next Friday is my 2 month update with progress pics so stay tuned! In the meantime, I leave you with the first picture of me that I like since my wedding! Happy weekend!




Stranger Here or "Nobody puts Baby in a corner"

I'm blogging today because there have been a few unexpected things that have popped up in my post-surgery journey that I wanted to share. I'm guess I'm feeling very open to learning lessons right now. Some are a gentle, sweet nudges. Others are baptism by fire.

Last night in yoga I got one of those gentle, sweet nudges. My instructor sat down on my mat and said "now I don't want you to freak out or get scared or never want to come back... (I was wide-eyed wondering what on earth could be coming next)...but you don't belong in the back corner. I want you to think about moving up - at least one row." I must have rattled off 5 excuses in a row (it's too crowded, I can't quite do all the poses, blah blah blah) then she told me to just think about it. I did think about it and realized that I had just made a bunch of excuses and y'all know how much I hate excuse makers :) So I moved up a row. And it wasn't so bad. Someone new can have the back corner now. I guess I'm done hiding out back there.

Moving on to what is just the beginning of many months of constant shopping. You would think that would be fun right? When I walk into a clothing store, I immediately gravitate to the plus size section - which is as horrible, sparse and sequined as it always is. At this point, I don't even come close to being able to wear anything in it so why do I look? Is it to see if clothes in that section became cool the second I couldn't wear them anymore?!? I have no idea. Comfort and routine I guess. Then I start to circle the normal people racks. Always starting at XL and working my way down. I feel like a fraud. Sometimes I wonder if I'm starting to look like I belong in this section? I'm not really a self-conscious person by nature but somehow all these tiny clothes in the 'normal part of the store' render me defenseless. Things I try on fit - and even look good! It's convincing myself to try is the hard part.

My head really needs to catch up with my body - that's going to be a wild ride!


Monday mix tape

Weekend Wrap Up
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This weekend was one of those "this is why I live in Atlanta" weekends. Spring is in full swing and it was close to 80 degrees!

Saturday I went to my extended Bikram yoga class. It's only 15 minutes longer than my normal one but that is a loooooonnnng 15 minutes. Towards the end of the floor series, I had one leg out to side and was draped over it with my hands clasped to the bottom of my foot in traditional Bikram style. My instructor (you all know how much I love her!) sat down next to me and said "how are you? is it so much easier now?" I showed her my interlaced fingers on the bottom of my foot and she knew as well as I did that was a first for me!!! It was so hot and I was reduced to a happy puddle on the floor by the end. The rest of day I was kind of in a haze and finally went to bed at 9:30. On a Saturday!

Sunday was St. Patricks day and the whole neighborhood was outside! My husband and I planned a 5 mile walk with stops at our 2 favorite pubs. It was a great day and a great workout. I managed half a beer and half a bloody mary over the course of about 4 hours. I haven't really found anything I like that "sits well" post surgery. I'm actually really glad about that - I don't miss it at all and I certainly don't need it so we will keep it to a minimum!

Which brings me to today. Monday. I knew it was going to be today so I stepped on the scale and got my wish. I hit the 40 pound mark. One day shy of my 8 week surgiversary.

Judging a book by it's cover
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 I love how even at 43 years old I still learn lessons. Sure, I learn stuff about my job and about yoga and whatnot but life lessons are always a surprise at this age.

Last Saturday I was settling into "my spot" at yoga. It was getting more and more crowded and suddenly here comes little miss perfect body laying her mat out right in front of me. I got a little agitated but I did give her a point for staggering her mat so I could still see even though she was only an inch away. I don't do well with crowds and closeness especially when it's 105 degrees and you are sucking up my life-giving oxygen.

She turned around and asked me if this was a crowded class and I mentioned something about the January people starting to fade out and she said she was a January person but she was hooked. Then we just started talking. And I freaking loved her!

I saw her again this weekend and she took the same spot in front of me but this time I was glad to see her. Bikram really isn't the most chatty environment so we didn't talk long but again, loved her!

Tiffany, if you ever read this, thank you for being so cute and perfect bodied and for making me realize how ridiculous I am.

My trainer and I were talking about it and agreed my judgement of other people is probably a defense mechanism for my insecurities over people judging me for my weight. Especially as the (formerly) largest person at yoga. Most people I've talked to about it have said they too struggle with it. Glad to know I'm not alone but I can promise you I'm going to work on that - hard!!

10k ahead?
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It's that time of year again. Time for the lottery of the worlds largest 10k. The Peachtree Road Race. The one that's up hill the whole way on the always blistering hot Atlanta 4th of July. I don't know what is wrong with me but I entered it again. By next Monday's mix tape, I will know if I'm one of the chosen 60,000. In a weird way I kinda hope so!

Friday Weigh In

Happy Friday!

Things were a little better in the weight loss department this week. I'm constantly changing things up to see what it is my new body really wants and needs to keep the weight loss going.

There were a couple days this week where I felt like I was hungry all day. Not sure if it's in my head or if it's real hunger. I just drank my water and had all my usual food - basically just ignored it. Even though I know there's no way I could eat anywhere near what I used to, it still a little scary to be faced with hunger again. Real or not.

Anyway, here are the stats for the week:

Jan 14 - Start of liquid diet - 250
Jan 29 - Surgery weight - 237 -13
Feb 8 - 231 -6
Feb 15 - 222 -9
Feb 22 - 220  -2
Mar 1 - 218  -2
Mar 8 - 216  -2
Mar 15 - 213 -3
37 pounds total!  

I'm well on my way to the 40 pound mark! I'd love to hit onderland by the time I see the surgeon again at the end of April. It's a lofty goal but I'm going to try!

Today I will be shopping for regular size clothes. I'm thinking of easing myself in at Old Navy so I won't feel bad about donating it all again a month from now. Wish me luck because I have just a handful of things I can wear at the moment.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Monday Mix Tape


Weekend Wrap up
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I'm happy to say Spring has arrived in the ATL.  It's a shame we got one less hour of weekend but I made sure I got the most of every minute!

Saturday I did only the second 90 minute Bikram yoga class of my life. It was long and it was hot but I survived and I didn't have to take a break. Every class gets better as I lose more and more weight. It's exhilarating!

Sunday I did this.......

This is the donate pile. My closet is almost empty. I currently have 2 pairs of pants (one black one jeans) that fit and a random few tops. This pile represents everything big and black I've hid behind in the last few years. Some plus size goth girl is going hit the jackpot at the Goodwill. 


What are you eating?
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This was the first weekend I've felt "normal" since having surgery. Friday was gorgeous and everyone on our side of town was at the bar on the patio by 4pm. We walked the 3/4 of a mile up there, I had a shot of Patron on the rocks over the course of 2 hours and 1/4 of a chicken finger and 2 tater tots that were on the table. For me, happy hour used to consist of 3 tequilas, 3 beers, a burger, fries and a cupcake on the way home. No walking was involved. It felt pretty good to be back there - being social without even coming close to overdoing it.

Saturday night was my first dinner party since surgery. My friend who hosted it was so sweet and so considerate of my diet and the food was incredible!
This was an Asian style ginger tilapia and a quinoa and kale cake. We also had roasted bok choy. I even had a Milano and peach sorbet for dessert.

I ate more this weekend than I have in a while. It's nice to be able to eat what I want but I'm still tracking everything. Even the 2 tater tots! It's scary in a way. I'm afraid I'll go back to my old habits but there's no way my stomach is capable of even 1/4 of what I used to eat on a bad day. I have to keep the faith in myself that I can practice moderation.

Have a happy, healthy week everyone!






Friday weigh in

Things are still a little slow in the weight loss department - in the pre-surgery days I would have given my right arm for 2 pounds a week so I'm not going to complain!

Jan 14 - Start of liquid diet - 250
Jan 29 - Surgery weight - 237 -13
Feb 8 - 231 -6
Feb 15 - 222 -9
Feb 22 - 220  -2
Mar 1 - 218  -2
Mar 8 - 216  -2
34 pounds total! 

Also have a few non-scale victories to share
 
My first shirt without an "X". Just a plain ol' "L"

   
Tracking everything I eat for 30 days. I love My Fitness Pal and My Fitness Pal pals.


Have a great weekend everyone!

Monday Mix Tape

Weekend Wrap Up
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Another weekend gone in the blink of an eye! It was freezing here and it made for kind of a boring weekend. I'm so ready for spring and my garden and our neighborhood deck parties!

Saturday I had my trainers class followed by one of my monthly support groups. I was quite pleased with myself for making it to my class before having to drive to the burbs. The old me would have skipped it altogether - the new me went to class anyway and just left 15 minutes early all good and sweaty for the group :) It was a small group but a good one and I got to see all the people who are a few months ahead of me and their dramatic changes are so inspiring!!

Sunday morning I went with my sister to the hardest yoga class at our studio. 75 minute Hot Vinyasa. I totally rocked it and was practically in tears at how much easier it was to do all those crazy moves. I will secretly be really happy when the extra 20 or so new years resolutioners that are still hanging on drift away and I don't have to be AS close to other peoples feet.

The New Regime
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Now that I'm cleared for all exercise, I sat down and made my new workout schedule. This may be totally boring to some and interesting for others. If you plan on robbing my house or stalking me while I'm working out I have two big dogs and a Scottish husband.

Monday: 45 minutes walk; 60 minutes Core and More (that's my trainers class of cardio, weights and pilates and if you live in Atlanta I highly recommend)
Tuesday: 75 minutes Bikram yoga
Wednesday: 45 minute walk; private session with my trainer 60 minutes
Thursday: 75 minutes Hot Core Power Yoga
Friday: 45 minute walk; 60 minutes Core and More
Saturday: 90 minutes Bikram yoga
Sunday: 45 minute walk; 75 minutes Hot Vinyasa

As you can see, every day has something good going on. I don't usually plan a day off because life has a way of taking care of that for me. I've cut back on my cardio per the surgeons suggestion and I'm worried it's not enough/not too much. It's hard to figure out what my new body wants!
Eventually I'll add back in running and spinning. Right now I'm doing everything my surgeon says.

What are you eating?
-----------------------------
Seems to be everyone's first question! Still having protein shake for breakfast, usually chicken salad made with greek yogurt for lunch, salmon for dinner is still my favorite. I get a green smoothie in during the day for some veggies. If I have room for a snack it's usually cottage cheese or greek yogurt. I tried a small high fiber tortilla - I made a tiny quesadilla and it went well. I plan on trying half of one with some cheese, sauce and turkey pepperoni for the first taste of anything pizza-like I've had in 6 weeks.

I'm averaging 600-700 calories, 80 grams of protein, 35-40 grams of carbs, 10-15 grams of fat.

I had 2 ounces of red wine last night for the first time in 6 weeks. Again it was fine but not something I'm going to make a huge habit of. Liquid calories (that aren't protein drinks) are the enemy of the vertical sleeve patient.

Never in a million years would I have thought my sugar cravings would disappear but they have. I bought a beautiful carton of strawberries and that's the sweet treat I'm looking forward to?!? I feel like I've been freed from a powerful addiction to sugar, fat and salt. The three amigos. Sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore - in a good way :)

Have a happy, healthy week everyone!

Friday weigh in - one month update!

I can't believe it's been a month since my surgery. As y'all know, my one month follow up with the surgeon was yesterday and he was genuinely thrilled with my progress. So many of the people I know from support group have surgeons who hardly say a word. I feel so incredibly lucky to be able to sit down with him and have an open conversation about all aspects of the surgery - not just the surgical part.

Let's get right to the stats:
Jan 14 - Start of liquid diet - 250
Jan 29 - Surgery weight - 237 -13
Feb 8 - 231 -6
Feb 15 - 222 -9
Feb 22 - 220  -2
Mar 1 - 218  -2
 
Starting BMI = 48
One month post surgery BMI = 42.6!! - 5.4

The weight loss has slowed - I wouldn't call it a stall but I went from losing a pound a day to 2 pounds a week. His suggestion for speeding it up again is less cardio and more calories. No medical professional has ever said that to me before. It was like opposite day.

Now here's where it gets pretty mind blowing for me. The inches! I had my trainer do my measurements so they would be accurate (thank you Karen for being AWESOME) and I still can't get over the difference:
Waist: - . 5"
Chest: - 1. 5"
Hips: - 3. 5"
Thighs: L - 1. 5" R - 1"
Arms: - 1. 75"
Calves: - 1. 25"
- 11" total 

Okay now pictures. I'm not thrilled with these but we are documenting this honestly and this is part of the process. Hopefully I will grow to love my pictures more each month. 

All in all, it's been a great month. I'm so lucky to have never had a single complication.
I'm totally cleared for everything now - all exercise and solid food. Surgeon recommends weight lifting and yoga with cardio 3 days a week. Of course I will listen to every word he says because it's done me well so far!

This afternoon I'm going to a 60 minute Bikram class to ease back in. It will be good practice for Tuesdays 75 minute class. I cannot WAIT to be back in the hot room - 11 inches and 32 pounds gone since the last time I was there!

Happy weekend everyone!

Bittersweet NSV

Today, as I was getting ready for my first post-surgery training session, it suddenly hit me how easy it was to put my shoes on. Now that's a great non-scale victory!

At the same time, it made me really sad that it was ever hard to put my shoes on. I used to sit on the ottoman at the end of the bed - kinda sideways. Then had to change positions to put the other shoe on.

It makes me realize how much the weight can creep up on you. You gradually buy bigger pants. You start to move differently to accommodate for extra pounds. You blame the dryer for your clothes shrinking or your aging for the aches and pains. It's subtle but it's happening and suddenly your whole life is affected by your weight. I realized that I've been accepting all along something that's completely unacceptable to me. Being able to bend over is not optional. I just isn't.

Y'all know I have the worlds best yoga teacher and she said something that's always stuck with me which was "We all have a choice as to how much we want to be able to move in our 40s 50s 60s and beyond." She's totally right.

God willing, I will never again struggle to put on my shoes.

Monday Mix Tape

Weekend Wrap Up
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Anyone else have a strangely short weekend?!?

Saturday the weather was gross and I woke up with a new injury - sciatic nerve? Ouch! I was totally out for the day. Laying on the couch watching 18 hours of HGTV. It was fine when I was laying down, fine when I was standing up but anything in between was so painful it made me dizzy! I did some research, some hot and cold therapy and I will eventually see the chiropractor - once I clear that with the surgeon. Apparently my weakened abs and lots of walking are the cause and it can be fixed.

I have to admit, I was in a little bit of a bad mood because I couldn't sit around and eat all day. I've decided I'm going to apply a little yoga thought process when things like that come up - recognizing it, acknowledging it and moving on. 

The day ended with a devastating and horrible tragedy on my recorded season finale Downton Abbey. I'm completely obsessed with that show. Hey, at least it's on PBS and not trashy!

Sunday was suddenly spring! I got out of bed slowly hoping the dose of liquid Lortab I had before bed had rid me of the pain - it was still there but much better. I was ready for my first trip back to yoga! I took the restorative class which was super easy and it felt GREAT. The best part? This was the first time I could really tell how much of a difference 30 pounds makes. I can lay on my back and bring my knees to my chest without the giant inner tube around my belly. There's still plenty there but what a huge difference.

Because that class probably burned less calories than I would have burned doing projects at home, I set out for a walk after a quick lunch. Our little village here on the East side is very walkable and totally explodes when then weather gets nice. Everyone is walking, biking and filling up all the patios at restaurants and bars, eating and drinking. I did 4 miles taking in all the sights and smells - cupcakes, beer, burgers, doughnuts, pizza. It really didn't bother me - I felt strong and I felt proud. I saw a few people I know and already people are freaking out when they see me. It's pretty sweet.

This seems to be and extended track on this weeks mix tape but I'll end it by saying I couldn't find my cart at the grocery store because it's unrecognizable as mine. If it weren't for the blue cans of Heinz beans from the British section, I might not have found it.

Tales from the Gym
----------------------------------
Spring lasted one day and it's back to the indoors today. Because I still have 3 gym memberships (this is an issue that needs to be dealt with) I chose to go to the CleanCloseCheapGym. I couldn't face another hour walking on the treadmill so I decided 45 minutes on the elliptical might be good for the old sciatic nerve. It was a good workout - boring but at least house hunters was on and it was close captioned so I could still listen to music. It was great until the parking lot.

Wedged up next to my car is a giant banged up maroon Tahoe sized thing. My side mirror was touching it. In it, a large woman stuffing her face with fries. She was backed in so I was looking straight at her and there was no way I could get in my car. She was not acknowledging me at all but finally got her to roll her window down. I told her to move - she was way over the line and I couldn't get into my car. She looks and says "yes you can" I say in return, "I just had abdominal surgery and can't move like that to get in". What does she do?? She shrugs her shoulders and ROLLS THE WINDOW BACK UP. (I swear I'm not making this $#!+ up people). I should have called the cops but instead I got in the other side of my car, slid across (because I'm skinnier now, so there you big fat french fry eater), flipped her off and drove away.

I love how I solve one problem with my total yogi mindset and the other with sheer ridiculousness. That my friends is the beauty of me :)

Settling in
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I feel like I'm finally back to a routine that's as normal as it gets around here. Most of the time I feel like I never had surgery except during a meal of course or if I take a sip of water that's too big. I'm cooking more than ever - which has benefited my husband as well. He's down 10 pounds! Mostly from portion control and not eating out. I feel great when we cook a full week of healthy meals that both of us can enjoy. We have so much left over these days that his lunches are always taken care of and sometimes the neighbors even get fed!

If you lived through this one and care for more, I will be doing my one month update on Friday. I see the surgeon on Thursday and I'm hoping to end my current stall before then. I will also be seeing my trainer and getting my measurements done so stay tuned!

Have a happy, healthy week everyone!