Yesterday was a horrible day for me. Work was awful as we're gearing up for a big presentation and it's never done until my boss walks out the door with it. He just keeps looking at it and changes things until it's time to leave. I've never met a successful man with so little confidence. Luckily I'm not going to the presentation. I used a million reasons to get out of it and won. I usually have to call my doctor and ask for xanax if I have to travel with him. Especially in the car.

By the time I got home I was so upset I was in tears so I took my sweet doggies for a walk which made me feel better. By the time my husband came home from the gym I was in tears again. I was tired and hungry and mentally exhausted - all brought on by my period I'm sure! I made a nice dinner of pork chops, edamame succotash and wild rice and went to bed at 9:00. I had to get up during the night to take some advil but other than a slight throbbing in my temples I feel much better today.

Sometimes the fact that I've been watching my weight since I was 10 just exhausts me.I get tired of thinking about it and talking about it. I get tired of making breakfast, lunch and dinner every day even though I have my husband to help me now. Sometimes I just want to come home and have cereal for dinner like I did when I was single but I know that's part of the reason why I gained my weight back. It wasn't a realistic way of eating. I think maybe once I have my kitchen remodeled I will feel more like cooking like I did in my gorgeous kitchen in our rental house but then I realize I'm using that as an excuse...just like all my other excuses.

So today is a new day and I've started it with a good breakfast and lots of water. I get to go to my water aerobics class today which is always something to look forward to and I know I will feel even better after it. It's a hot day today which make me look forward to it that much more.

This is a big fat lame post but I promised myself I'd do it on good and bad days.